Loki's Random Tales
by Small J
Summary: This is a collection of unrelated stories and drabbles. Mostly short one-shots that never got fleshed out to a real story, requests from people, or prompts. Updated on a whim, not a schedule. Will be addressed as 'complete' as each chapter is a stand-alone.
1. Play With Me

Random moment in which Loki gets bored and torments poor Tony.

* * *

Tony enjoyed his peace and loved his quite. It wasn't that he didn't mind a bit of chaos. In fact, he loved it almost as much as being alone. He had decided long ago that there was a time to be loud and a time to just be snarky. When in the middle of a party, per say, it was only proper to be loud, buzzed and flirty with everything and anyone available. When working in the lab, which was his current location, well...he had security protocols for a reason.

Loki didn't seem to care.

The billionaire had wanted nothing more then to go to his lab and work off some stress. Fury had been in a fury after Loki had managed to turn all the guns of the local police force into chocolate. This, of course, right before Doom decided to attack the city. He was sore, he was tired, and he was sure he should call for back up when Loki arrived complaining he was bored.

Tony shuffled around the god, too aggravated to fight. The god had only smiled and paced the room, leather coat rustling softly behind him. Loki hadn't been wearing his reindeer look, as Tony dubbed it, so he saw little reason to raise the alarm. Besides, Jarvis would call if things went wrong. He was good about things like that.

"Don't touch my stuff," mumbled the brown eyes man into the project he currently had a set of tweezers on.

Loki, not for the first time, smiled faintly, setting down the scrap of metal he had been toying with. He was bored and had told the genius such when he had walked in uninvited.

Loki placed his hands behind his back, slowly walking across the cluttered lab. Dummy, Tony's favorite, yet tragically insulted robot, slowly watched. As Loki paced, Dummy's arm followed his movement. When Loki paused, peering over his shoulder, Dummy's claws flexed slowly in what Loki considered a sort of tired blink. With another smile, filled with mischief and mirth, the Prince stalked the robot. Had he been watching, Tony might have been concerned. As it was, his back was turned to inspect one of his holograms.

Reaching out, Loki ran a thin, pale finger across Dummy's claw. Dummy twisted and rotated his body. Loki was fascinated. The metal creature had more personality then Stark was showing at this point. Dummy made a whining noise.

Chuckling softly to himself, Loki pulled over a cold chair, eyeing the billionaire for signs of irritation at having touched something else. Content that the hero wouldn't be suiting up over a moved chair, the blue-eyed god settled to study the one called "Dummy".

Dummy, for his part, opened and closed his three fingered claw and rotated his hand and long arm to level himself with Loki's face.

"How quaint" Loki began as he poked a slim tubes protruding from the robots head. Dummy turned slightly to the left, showing off the black tubes.

Waving a hand, Loki summoned one of his blades to his hand. He held the slim dagger before him, raising an eye brow as the robot arm whirred and clicked but did nothing else.

"Can you take it?" asked god softly as to a frightened animal.

Dummy made a few more noises and, with a light hydraulic hiss, gently clamped onto the slim knife. Feeling in the mood for fun, Loki waved his hand in front of him again. In a small puff of green smoke, the knife was gone. Dummy let out a high pitched chirp as he twisted and turned, sensors scanning the ground to locate the missing blade. It wouldn't do to misplace something so delicate as that. he knew from experience how it upset Tony to lose things.

Loki laughed, stifling with merriment with his hand, still wary of the hero in the room. Tony, now welding, paid no attention to Loki and Dummy.

Once his laughter had ceased, Loki brought the knife back, smile broad when Dummy swiftly took it, handle first. He vanished the blade again, moving the slim weapon to the table near the robot. Dummy searched carefully for the blade. Knowing it would appear again, his search was less frantic and more calculated as he gazed over the nearest surfaces.

Dummy scooted the delicate looking weapon to the end of the table until his three fingered grip could clamp around the simple handle once more. Glancing at a nearby clock, Loki noticed he had been playing "fetch" with the robot for over an hour. The heroic inventor, at some point, had switched from his welding back to his hologram.

The inventor twisted the floating blueprints in the air as he frowned and mumbled under his breath. He had become so engrossed in the power management problem in his latest update to the armor he had forgotten the god had even arrived, let alone his continued presence.

Feeling bold, the raven prince morphed Dummy's base, fitting a set of rollers. At some point, Tony must have lost patience with the droid and bolted him to the floor in punishment.

"There you are. Anything that can annoy the Man of Iron to the point of being bolted to the floor deserves to be set free." With that settled, the mischievous trickster leaned forward conspiratorially. Dummy, lacking ears, leaned forward all the same as Loki whispered his demands, infusing his words with a twitch of arcane magic.

Once more satisfied with his work, Loki watched, eyes glowing bright, as Dummy silently wheeled over to his creator.

"Sir, my scanners have detected an anomaly with Dummy," came a calm British voice seemingly from no where within the spacious room.

Tony lifted his goggles as he set down the tools he had only that moment picked back up. "and what would that be? Bad wiring?" Laughing to himself, Tony looked at his work, inspecting a seam.

"No, sir. It would appear Dummy has wheels, a knife and is heading towards you as we speak."

Jumping and spinning around, the panicked Avenger brandished a welding torch in defense. Dummy paused only a few feet in front of his creator, knife glinting in the artificial light.

"Dummy, you big dummy. Drop that right now!"

Dummy whined, twisting the knife, but didn't drop it.

"Dummy, where did you even get that? Drop it!"

Loki watched his work with a gleam in his eyes. Channeling the magic woven around the large robots form, he spoke, voice robotic and flat, as it poured from the knife wielding creature.

"I do not enjoy being bolted to the floor".

The inventor's eyes slowly widened, torch forgotten in his hand.

"I am not a dummy, either."

Shocked, Tony lowered his makeshift weapon before asking, "Do you...have a name preference?"

The Trickster stifled his laughter. It was obvious the shaken genius had forgotten he was in the room. After a moment to calm himself, Dummy having been in a seemingly calm contemplation, the god blurted out:

"I am Loki, god of robotics!"

With that, Loki fell back into the hard chair, laughter rising loud and echoing throughout the lab. Tony's head jerked to the back of the room to angrily stare at the hysterical god.


	2. No Harm?

A short AU for a friend. Loki is part of the Avengers. She asked me to reference her favorite movie. Loki smiles upon people that know what movie I am so obviously talking about.

* * *

"Remember when I once told you 'this is madness' and you didn't listen? I would like to apply that phrase to the current situation as a precursor to the 'I told you so' soon to follow."

Ducking behind an upturned car, Loki grimaced as energy bolts zipped through the air around him. He could hear Iron Man soaring overhead, taking out anything that managed to launch itself from the abandoned road. Looking towards a high-rise several blocks behind the advancing army, the god noted a few creatures exploding suddenly mere feet from the top. Loki had teased Hawkeye for his love of explosions and was loath to admit how effective, if annoying, they were. _To be honest_, he thought, _I just don't like them exploding on me_.

"Brother," came a crackling voice from his ear. "Madness is relative, as you have joyously pointed out. Mayhap you can still have the 'I told you so' at a later date. For now, hold them on this street until the Widow can get to the book."

_Ah, yes. The book. No harm every came from reading a book, right Thor?_

The god tossed green energy bolts carelessly down the street as he recalled what had brought him to his position. It had been a normal day, a normal lunch, a normal movie night and a not so normal mission. Loki, having experience with magic, was invited along, much to his own dismay. He hadn't much minded being teamed up with the Widow or Bruce, however he did mind having Thor along. While they had patched most of their relationship up, the large god insisted on treating Loki as if he had never changed. It frustrated the dark Prince but he could at least ignore it when the Avengers all found themselves in the mansion for the week. Being trapped on a mission in a foreign country while not causing an international incident was a different story.

The team had been sent to retrieve an artifact the local government believed was causing bad luck and devastation on the land. It hadn't been, as the team found out, but it could have had the book been open prior to their arrival. A small group of the government had used S.H.I.E.L.D to locate the artifact in order to use it's magic to take over.

_Correction,_ Loki mumbled in his own thoughts, _they used me._

Traces of magic had been the only clue. They knew the general whereabouts of the artifact. The problem wasn't that they couldn't find it. The issue came when trying to get into the building that housed the thing. Shields, traps, magic and heaping amounts of illusions to disorient the team. Loki had been the one to deal with it all. It seemed that the Avengers had only been told to show up in order to keep Loki in check.

Although he had proven himself a valuable teammate, there was still an occasional issue of trust when there was any magical item brought into the fold. Coincidentally, Loki was most often brought in to consult, disarm, or otherwise identify magical or seemingly magical items that Tony simply couldn't manage to figure out. This artifact, however, surprised Loki. With so many traps and tricks, he had assumed the worst. A dangerous weapon, he had thought.

The artifact, as it was discovered, was a book. A simple unassuming book resting on a very orate, very ancient pedestal. Loki, being cautious, had sidled up to the stand to translate the inscription.

Thor, being entirely incautious of the two, had simply walked in and opened the book to read it. The building had shaken, the roads had collapsed, and a big blue beam shot up through the building to the sky. The sudden appearance of the ancient alien army was of little surprise after that. Thor had proclaimed his innocence, of course. He had never heard of harm from reading a book.

Sliding slim blades between pale fingers, Loki smiled. The whole situation had brought him back to his youth. Back to Thor dragging his friends on a quest they had no hope of surviving. Loki had pulled Thor from the fire before. It was rare that he would be acknowledged for it, but he would go with his brother on the next quest and, inevitably, save him again. This time, the raven-haired god knew he would be thanked. He would be rewarded, even if that reward was getting to pick a movie to watch. This was brotherhood. Loki could fight to the bitter end and know that his team would do the same. Loki knew that each one would avenge another should the worst happen.

If all else failed, Loki would walk to Hel himself and destroy it to get them back.

Loki's grin tightened, distorting to something maniacal and sharp and just as deadly. Yes, let this be the warm-up should the team fall. Hel would freeze over before Midgard fell to a book.

"Hey, Reindeer Games, big guy heading your way. Take a shot."

and the silver blades flew.


End file.
